meaningless goods

After all this time 
The good feelings
Just take me back 

Then forward
Scraping the resin from the pipe dream
Anywhere but here 
And anytime but now

Only a memory 
Or a hopeless fantasy

And I lean toward 
For something more
The present spurred forward 
Only by meaningless goods


I am passive

But forgettable 

There was a fire once
But it’s been put out

Maybe you saw the remnants
A flicker 
You weren’t the only one 

But you left just the same

It’s draining to be someone’s light
To provide warmth where there’s such a chill

I don’t hold it against you
Reach for the stars my dear


Maybe I was unfair
I thought you could see me
You loved me as though you did

I should have told you what it would take to love me
How I am fragile 
And guarded

But I'm also constant 
In love and in hope

I thought love was what you needed 
Capricious and stoic you are

I thought I could see you
Instead I loved you through a mirror 

We could be intertwined
But we couldn’t go side by side


You fill our spaces with her
A train car
A rooftop
A grassy knoll

Memories recorded over
I’ve become a ghost in my own history 

Mementos forgotten 
Letters thrown away

You write to her now
Sharing the love you were afraid of with me


It’s the smell of lavender 
Or plain soap 
The taste of sensuous fruit

It’s warmth
Open windows
The sun’s morning haze

It’s the sea
A gentle breeze
Water on my skin

It’s hunger
Wrapped in sheets 

It’s moonlight 
The remote night sky
Dream you dreamer


It’s been so long
And I still hold you so close to me

But it’s not really you
Is it?
It’s a memory
A ghost
A companion

My thoughts are a conversation with you

In reality
I’m not in your reality 
Oh, the tricks our minds play

Shall I give you a new name?
A new face?
My imaginary friend


It was I who didn’t deserve
For I live with fences

You set the fire
From sparks
The fences burned 

To ashes of vulnerability 
I smoldered
Embers of anguish 

May she love you the way I did in my heart
In my fenceless dreams 

May you let yourself love her the same
May you realize your capacity 
For you are deserving 
The sun in the day
The moon at night
You are the light


A fortress
All quiet 
Save for the occasional passing car
Or shameless creaky floorboards 

No insulation 
Just raw sensation
Dense air 

Rough texture
Hints of disrepair 
Simple touches and minimal adornments 
Beauty in nakedness 
Stripped down 

A disquiet mind
Desirous of a vacuous heart
But there’s peace in loneliness 
And rest in the somnolence of grief

primrose path

You hid behind your golden mane 
Tired clothes and dirty feet, for shame

I could see the truth inside you
Such salience and strength 
A reverie I’d never known 
A love so unique 

Your face as alluring as your mind
A soft but striking stare
Your voice hypnotizing 
Enchanting with your words 

You held me in rapture 
Holding me safe in your heart 
Holding my body like I might break 

Yet so you let me

I loved you as a lion
It was a coward who let me go